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“Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell; the name will carry”
While taking legendary American Comedian Bill Cosby’s off-the-cuff jest a bit too serious, so much so that when blessed with a daughter, we end the name not merely with a single vowel but in fact with two; Asnaa. Much on the lines of any automobile company’s marketing team, who would take extra pain in a bid to steer clear of clichés to come up with a unique name-tag, whenever assembly lines are imbued to “deliver” a new model every year; naming a child has increasingly become a similar affair. In this living age of Drama and Lady Gaga, in much-sort-after Pakistani drama flicks, protagonists and their definitely not so familiar screen names sets a tone of frenzied search for trendy names not to mention nurturing a soft (read infatuating) corner for never-to-admit crushes. For Parents, already and new alike; gender confirmation of their yet to be born child signals to commence with frantic quest that would probably require a biologist’s penchant for tagging every new specie with scientific nomenclature. Obviously not having such luxury like Pakistan’s ruling party enjoys nowadays, who seems to be running out of buildings of national importance to name after their slain leader, parents would first Jot down a fairly long list of names materialized after rummaging through popular websites and name-books they lay their hands on and then skim out those, if by any chance, would be found in acquaintances. Much like our depleted national resources, the apparent dearth of trendy yet unique names led these perplexed parents to come up with the names which may sound great to ears but would be with obscure meanings and which may be more appropriate if practiced as tongue twisters. Not the least, parents must take this nevertheless crucial notion into consideration that name apart being trendy and unique, when shortened should turn into a trendy nick name.
On the flip side, then there are names which surely borne inherent cultural ethos and would give a fleeting idea if parents or any other close relative, present at that spur of the moment, named the child whatever under the sun attracts them most. Consequently one would find a complete solar system in a single household throwing tantrums or running wild with a big bang. Moreover, a significant proportion of names one happens to encounter wouldn’t betray whether the name bearer is masculine or feminine in character. When introduced with a name without the name-holder in appearance, it may happen that the lady one expect to walk in, would turn out to be a burly gentleman with mustache thus leaving all mental coordinates rattled and disarrayed.
Understandably so, naming a child is nevertheless a significant ritual every parent would cherish to perform and I happened to be one of those blessed.
The contributor is a seasoned Journalist, professional creative writer and social media analyst. He is associated with UAE based VASP Ibex Group of companies as Creative Writing Manager.