[Poetry] The girl is in love
by Amina Khan
Today, I am making a confession
I know it is forbidden
But I am deep in love
I can’t hide my feelings,
For the beauty, I can’t see
For the voice, which I can’t hear
For the fragrance I can’t smell
Still I am in love
With the tall tall mountain
With the deep deep river
With the beautiful glaciers
Oh yes, I am in love
With the simple people of my valley
With traditions of my people
With the advice of our elders
With obeying of our youngster
With strength of our women
Yes I am in love
With the tea in the Thermos
Putook in the oven
Potato in every dish
With Molida and, also, Baath
Chumos and Quruth
Yes, I am in love
How can I hide these feelings?
When I am far away from the mountains
Trapped between these towering buildings
And want to share my feelings
Grandma don’t be ashamed
Your granddaughter is in love
Please don’t get annoyed
And let me share my feeling s
To my people and my homeland
It is my submlime love
waw nice……………. we r missng all these things also yar bt time , no time to go to gojal nd live thr………………..
Well done, the same feelings here, GREAT JOB.
Regards:
Karamat Ali Shako
AAJ TV
Karachi
Very simple …….. But……… Excellent
Great expression of feelings,,,,,,,, indeed I miss these all too, the same feelings I have for my homeland Gojal but couldn’t able to stay there for more than 20 days after many years…………. Thank you Amina for sharing this beautiful poetry and keep feeling the same, after all our homeland has the beauty to praised and to have feelings for it like you have mentioned.
Rahim
Almaty Kz
Wow…… Marvellous…
like it!
Subhanallah!!
My Beloved Killed
One day me and my Kako
Down in Dumani Valley
Went to herd our sheep
Leopard leopard ! I cryed
Up above on amount kliff
Leopard ate our goat
Throwing down the rest of it
Leopard roared with pride
Me ,my Kako…and the leopard
Kako gunned the leopard down
All the night female leopard
crying in village Maoo Maoo!
searching for its husband leopard
A llvillage in frightening night
Leopards Leopard Leopard
I again said my Kako
But with tears in my eyes
waw….sho sw33ttt.v al r missing gojal alot bt u kno no tym 2 lv in gojalllll.thanx n so marvellouss..
Beautiful!!!!!
Abbas Ali
i love it amina
itss so sweet
and deep
i miss home alot too
i cannot wait to go back.
bibi
usa
It’s good to see the pure love and emotions for our very own Homeland, i do appreciate da nicest piece of poetry. God Bless U, God Bless Our Homland.
If da author permits, we want to publidh this poetry in our up-cming magazine by her name…????
bohoth alla
I would try to be as simple as possible to analyse the poetry by Amina. It would be better if Amina had written this peace in prose. Meters of English poetry are diametrically different from Urdu. In Urdu last word or two rhymes, and selection of words in other places are done according to the weight of its pronunciation and thought, whereas in English it is imperative that every word should rhyme, and there is a rhyme scheme within a sentence. Hence we have five basic rhythms of varying stressed and unstressed syllables. The meters are iambs, trochees, spondees, anapests and dactyls.
Let me clarify it from an example given by Jack Hart. According to him with the four line stanza the possibilities become quite numerous. Possible rhyme patterns are AABB, ABBA, ABAB, ABCB, and AABA. If one factors in different line lengths, or alternating line lengths the number becomes very large indeed. There are some patterns that are not possible–ABAC, for instance. You can’t start with rhyme and then lose it at the end. With these rules other rules the readers of Pamir Times can decide whether Amina or Nasira sustain the rhythm of rhyme to the end.
Sara Nagri’s poetry is a better piece in a sense that it, to some extent, rhymes and chimes with rules of rhyming. Since, my favorite subject in literature was literary criticism; it forces me to apply the tools of criticism on whatever piece of writing.
However, what is encouraging is that the female of our region are asserting themselves and venturing into an arena that is totally male dominated. For that act of courage these two ladies deserve our appreciation. But writing has to go through the crucible of criticism. And it is a point where the writer disappears and writing matters. It does not matter whether one is male or female. It is aptly said that ‘writing writes not the writer’.
Editor of Pamir Times is a poet but I have not seen any comments regarding technical points of the poems published in Pamir Times. Critics, like me, are crippled people who teach others how to walk. I do not have capacity to writing poetry but criticizing poets. Is it hypocrisy or paradox? Perhaps paradox. A good writer has to learn how to face and live with paradox. This rule equally applies to writers, like Amina, Sara and Noor and critic.
Dear readers
read peace in my second sentence of opening paragraph as piece.
………………..Gr8 yara….
keep it up……….
Tahira Safdar
Raja SafdarKhan.
w nice
hmmmmm FANTASTIC , The Voice of all youngsters of Gojal / Hunza who are away from thier lovely homeland and trapped in towering buildings and among the huge crowed of unknown peoples. aaaaaahhhh
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful poetry with us. I was thinking may you people have forgotten us (Gojal) as you are living there since many years but your poetry reflects how much you’re missing all these things. This is also a source of inspiration for us to think about things near to me. Once again thank your very much.
Hameed Tajiki
KIU GLT
very nice poem, the way u expressed ur feelings about the tradition and customs of our area is gr8.
A true essence of love poured in a very simple but dignified way. Yes there should and is not any doubt in our minds that we are in real love with our heaven on earth”.
Keep it up dear
nice feeling and great try to express her feeling and devotion toward her area, tradition and culture carry on. very good…………………………
waw -very simple but excellent
Amin ~!!!!!If you are searching for happiness come to the Nature of Gojal
Which still keep their values, customs and Tradition? But 6 year before you are tired of Gojal life too ,so Amin where ever you are Enjoy your life be a part of happiness their . We simply pray for your Happiness.
that iz fabulous amna. . we all hv that great feelngz..stunning job
the main poem is Simple, and plain as prose…….
Sara Nagri didnt try to use dramatic transformations yet i get that intended feeling…..
I appreciate both
zababardast !
what a nice poetry i really like it and i enjoy it nice…. keep it up . u can add more ………its insuffficent ……bcz our area there is countless beauties ….. !!
I appreciate all the critics of this little piece .Thank you all
Sara Dawood Nagri
Karachi
thanks everyone for your support and khameto(plz write ur real name) for your critics, I have written this in the train on my way to work, it not a real poetry but I just want to share my feeling with my people through pamirtimes , next time if I try to write a poem I would keep ur advice in my mind. Some of you said I might forgot back home, the answer will be can anybody forgets their mother, for me home is like a mother…………………. And sara Nagri I liked ur poem and thanks for sharing ur feels, I hope that more girls come forward and start sharing their feeling, in today’s society it is important know the opinion of a women, and our opinion matter in the society we live. Thanks again for your support and I love u all
amina khan
usa
Hey ma dear!ghafch baaf woz ghafcc khoshroy….
A Shattered Dream
Years ago,
when i was Thirteen
I saw ,a little dream
That was so
that I can always
hear the beat of
mount- stream
In the spring kids used to bath in it
In winters they used to skii
It is now
when I am Thirty
i find
every thing thirsty
All the glaciers have been melt away
All the mounts seem only gray
Oh my Lord!! what all it happening!
Where are kids
and their scream
Years ago,
when i was Thirteen
I saw ,a little dream
That was so
that I can always
hear the beat of
mount- stream
Good Effort
A cat on the road
A cat on the road smashed by a guy
Again and again its smashed by guy
No body cares about it
Thinking it just like a spit
This cat when alive
With naughts it thrive
It gave fun to its master
to his chilldern and his wife
But now when its dead
Human dont pay it respect
My heart is full of sigh
Asking me it is,so why
A cat on the road smashed by a guy
Again and again its smashed by a guy
Sara Dawood Nagri
Karachi
saradawood@rocketmail.com
Dear Amina
Beautiful keep it up with ur sagacious and innovative ideas and feelings
Best wishes
Aziz Nabi
soo sweet and lovely
Amina, it is a wonderful piece of thought and expression. I know how you miss Gojal, the people and the beauty. I also know that you always think and discuss the possibilities for its improvement. Your motivation and dedication provokes high energy and I always admire your constructive thinking. So please, keep it up. Develop yourself more because you have all the opportunities and come back to serve the area with a broader perspective and practices.
With love & prayers.
Your,
Aunty
Safida
Ghafch baf,
Beheil woc, Asel rang woz puzuve gelecighe qesa xhetk. Ce xhu diiyorneṣ̌ ki δir wocen yadṣ̌ ghač ter yadeṣ̌ wezit.
Well done keep it up with the same spirit
Dear Amina, I read your febulous poem, which is really touching one. I am sure you will be enjoying your poem practically after completing your studies. This area needs such supportive, dedicated and energetic leader like you. I am always inpired of your positive thinkings. I am sure you will be a good leader for your family as well for the people of this area. Keep it up.
Take Care
Shamim Ali
Supperb. I am really impressed by this poem. It reflects the feeling of many.
…..waw dear g8 we are also missing regurds habiba ku
Dear Readers
To Khameto , just , few words, expression, poetic licenses, not Classic or traditional but more romantic. As for Amina it is her words and her way of expressing the feeling of life , for this she needs words not orders. This poetry ,
As according to humble me this not only for people to just view or remember their mother land or home and life left over their. It for each and every one of us, living Gojal or away, have lost or missing the used to be beauty and simplicity of that was once part of the Wakhi way of life, the respect the believe, innocence, the sublime love, its all not their any more, that is now only present in words and songs.
Amina has recognized it when she saw that present situation and commercialization in her USA, like many other , it is her free mind that is in quest of light, which can acquire, because for that she will have to make many many sacrifices, which herself and all the worldly matter will not allow her to give up for just a feeling, but she now ‘s that it is life, And its life
In the end ist good or bad, but it’s a try and effort of expression.
Miss Amina,
You are giving an emotional touch to most of us through your vision and its expression through you wordings.
We are really rich but have never bothered to realize it.We have many many things that can really be a source of inspiration for others.The only thing is our loyality and committment to our land and our good practices gifted to us by our ancesters.
I don’t really think that we are lacking behind rather are ahead in many areas like culture,norms and values.
People of your kind can really be a true voice of the innocent mountain community who is committed to purity and excellence.
I am proud for being part of such a great community who is well mannered and well organized in the various spheres of life.
It is their vision and committment that the literacy rate has increased many folds in the recent years. Although our forefathers were away from the true essence of education.
We can boost up our man power in the various areas of interest and move ahead with the slogans of being the high flyers and inhabitants of the roof of the world.
Aslam Ghalib
Rawalpindi
Dera Sara
You have some thing that is the way that you can combin your thoughts into words, which some time takes ages to explor .
you should write about more topic.
I have the chance to read little and it gives me a feel that you should write more.
keep it up
Respected Nazeer Kako
My manuscript of poetry called WHEN SPRITS DIE
is in process
Sara Dawood Nagri
Karachi
WHEN SPRITS DIE
When spirts die
and no way to sigh
then man wants cry
but no tear comes in the eye
cont,,,,,,,
WHEN SPRITS DIE
When spirts die
and no way to sigh
then man wants cry
but no tear comes in eye
cont,,,,,,,
Amina,
You should be sending your poetry to the editor of PT to get it publish in main story instead of publishing in comments page. I really like the harmonious blend of thought and language. We would like to see more more poetry in future. Well done.
Dear PT
People like Amina and Sara and Noor the most need more space on PT page, as poet. PT should have a special and separate page for poetry. Because we have many people who want to add more species to PT.
PT should make its page more colorful and a make the page more interesting for all the level of readers.
And Sara it is a great to see your thought in a book, may you be helped in making your expression visible for others , keep it high, as it is .