Wed. Oct 28th, 2020

We will revive

We will revitalize and survive again

The lost identity we will regain

The ruined beauty we will revive

The depressed soul of my Gojal

We will rise and fly again

The days of grief and sorrow

We will forget and fly again

The dying ray of hopes

We will grab you again

The lost identity of my vale

We will revive again

The loving myth of my soul

We will survive

Believe in the natural just

We will revive

The dying soul of my land Gojal

Let’s sacrifice and revive again

[Firdous Jamal Gojalian]

36 thoughts on “We will revive

  1. nice poem and we will inshalla do best to our only paradise of gojal and pray for his best future ameen

  2. Poem is nice one, but I could not find myself on side of agreement with the second line which says “The lost identity we will regain.” I don’t think that we have lost our identity nor even hundreds of landslides and blockade of river can snatch our identity. We may lose our lives, our houses and our properties but identity is something which can not be lost. So with due respect, I can not agree with the poet on this.

    1. Respectable Sir ,
      Thanks alot for your valuable correction in the poem, I am not a philosopher or Shakespear, it is just a try to give confidence and hopr for future .

  3. InshaAllah. The enthusiasm, determination, and perseverance shown by the people of Gojal , especially its youth, is phenomenol. They have set new standards of slefless community work. Sometimes a crisis acts as catalyst to take pride in your identity.

  4. Dear…. how come a landslide vanishes an identity which you have mentioned in your poem…i totally agree with SBA that hundreds of landslides like this can not take away our identity…so plz dont go this far..you should highlight the real damage and should try to express the inner feelings of our brothers affected by this natural calamity.
    thanks

    1. Lost identity means a cut off from the rest of the world in the sense of Tourism flow, Economic activities etc ,
      thanks a lot for the correction and hope that you will never mind for providing further feedback.

  5. My Dear Firdus,
    here i like to appriciate your effort, instead of diging the mistakes, keep it up, very nice poem

    Best of luck to you

  6. dear firdous i appriciate ur efforts and creating a motivation in our youth to re build THE BEAUTIFUL GOJAL again
    very nice poem and inspiring .
    thanks

  7. dear firdous i appriciate ur efforts and creating a motivation in our youth to re build THE BEAUTIFUL GOJAL again
    very nice poem and inspiring .keep it up
    thanks

  8. While there might be flaws in grammar, structure, etc. the spirit of this poem is a need of the hour and I personally appreciate Firdous for coming up with a message of hope!!

    nurmomad

  9. Dear Young Man
    That was a nice touch, and in grief such words come in pain, and frustration but it sometime cannot represent what it is meant to, that is where the most difficult and uncontrollable expression occurs. Words and expression are very tricky art to express, especially when they are in verse, representing an hidden and though provoking agenda. Well to me it has little just some very serious expressions.

    We are in trouble but, Im not sure we lost your identity, where and how. It very hard to use such words especially in this situation or time when we are fighting for many things and waiting to change and at the same time save many more. To me we need to walk our souls its sleeping, not depressed souls its represent that we are awake and without any effort. We need to be serious on many point which we don’t take as serious issues and leave them untouched, it not from any other sources but it us ourselves, so its not depression but recklessness.
    “The dying identity of my vale” its not a measurable statement, no its just destruction of what we possess for centuries. That is harsh.

    Sorry but have to take part. Because we have to share as brothers.

  10. nice and sweet poem according to the diseaster occured in our sweet gojal… at first me was also totally confused regarding the use of ‘lost identity’ n i was totally agreed wid Mr.baig and SBA that we can’t lose our identity 4ever n in any situation.but later on Mr.firdous has depicted his way of thinking in favour of identity..means poetry has many dimensions according to different thoughts n its not easy for the writer to cope with all individuals’ thinking… anyhow its an appreciable work done by Mr.Firdous and also by Mr baig and SBA for their meaningful comments..

  11. Dear Firdous Jamal Well Done just because You had shown the reality not the critics .Although there are too many mistake diggers donnot worry they just give you strenght.
    I kn that it is not Mr. Khan case it is the case of Diasterous situation. Well done Jamal keep it up!

  12. A cursory look at the poem pushes me to say that it is very poorly written. Emotions are important but even more important is systematic and correct presentation of emotions in a candid manner.

    I am truly surprised at the comments made in eulogy of the poet and not the poem. The poet might be known to many of you but his poetry tells me that he is not a master of words. His grip at sentence structures, vocabulary, diction and poetic writing is below average.

    Only sincere critique can help him improve his weaknesses. Basking in false glory makes you happy for a brief instance but snatches depth from your thoughts and personality.

    Firdous you should not be happy with the blessings being showered on you. I can tell you with deep conviction that most of the commentators know nothing about English poetry and its demands and standards.

    A well wisher

    Moomik

  13. Miss momik i think you are the father of english and Mr. jamal a man of ful emotion that is what he is sharing his pain with all of you. It is not necessary to be a man born in enlish society , you should respect him for his feelings [….] !

  14. “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

    I thanks all of you for your valuable comments because I am not a philosopher nor a shakespear . i am simply a gojal ian just trying to lureate that we are in crisis but there is a way and a window of opportunity is waiting for us to explore.
    I want to say that motivational poem does not need structure, grammer , formate it needs courage to write.I felt the intense sorrow of my people and my heart lured me to write a poem for you mistake diggers and i believe that you have not tried to do so that is the reason why you people are becomming aggressive. Here i want to say that this poem is not to create a distance among us .. it is just to show a hope of rays still waiting for us.

    Miss momik I thanks alot for your valuable critic that i am an average english writer ! well it is fine ! I am not trying to say that i am shakspeare i am simply a Gojal boy . I did MBA and now doing Governance and organizational Sciences and i feel proud to say that i am your brother and standing topper in my university!
    thanks alot for your comment and assess yourself at what level you are?

    1. THUNDI-E-BAAD MUKHLIF SE NA GABRA AY UQAAB

      YE TO CHALTI HAI THUJAY OONCHA URAANY K LYE

      Dear Firdous,

      I wish these critics will not dis-heart you and these critics will make you strong. I want more your feeling through poems and other means.

      Nobody can claim that he or she is perfect in this Universe except God, so keep trying.

      And please don’t be emotional and defensive. Try to respect the critics because they have their own point of view and you have your own.

      All the best

  15. I think it is good to guide some one sympathetically and if nacessary we can use other ways of communication. we must not always count errors. If we read above poetry of Jamal there are too many good things which he has tried to share with us. we must encourage our youth to particpate in such learning activities.
    Thnx Jamal and our yong writers for sharing your emotions views ideas skills and knowledge with us.
    Keep your good work going you will inshallah go sky high.

    with best wishies

    Ali Masud

    Montréal

  16. Well i try to be as positive as possible. Many people have raised questions about this poem by Firdous. Noor is right we should appreciate his feeling instead of grammar and structure. That is nice. I want to mention that i posted a critique, not criticism rejecting it, about the contradiction in the last poem by the young poet Firdous. But it was moderated and not included in comments. Now this young lad is travel on a path where he is commuting blunders in thought and technique under the intoxication of praised showered on him by readers. had he been given a chance to rectify by literary criticism he would have produced more refined piece. But that did not happened. Hence, rambling and unfounded claims, which are more suitable to prose than poetry. I request editor of PT not to censer criticism unless it focuses on poet instead of poetry. Firdous it is nice effort but vocabulary does not do anything when our primary and secondary imagination is not active and supplemented by clear thinking. kheryon you are young and there is lot of room to go ahead. Do not dither by my criticism. rather to to make up things which lack. it will automatically shut the mouth of pessimist critics like me. good luck for your endeavors in the world of literature.

  17. Dear brother

    “I thank”, not “I thanks” …. also, “I am not a philosopher” is right. But writing “a Shakespear” is wrong. The correct spelling is “Shakespeare”.

    What does I am simply a “Gojal ian” mean?

    Correct spelling of the word is “Format” not “formate”.

    What does a “Hope of rays” mean? Did you want to say a ray of hope or rays of hope?

    All I want to say is that the attraction and depth of your poetry/emotions is reduced by the mistakes that smear its face. If your heart doesn’t buy what I have written it is understandable. But if your mind rejects what I am suggesting, I will be truly disappointed.

    A well wisher

    1. iam totally agreed with Firdous that here the spell and accurate writting of english language is not so essential .. here the importance is given to the tuff situations faced by our people.. the topic is quite and clear and the message is clean which the writter wants to give us… we should not go on fighting on these critics.. we should appreciate everybody who participates in…everyone has some gutts and lacks and we can’t improve it without mistakes .. as to my extent poetry not stresses on grammar n puntuation ..if the reader understands the message of the writter i think its enough for him … we all appretiate Mr Firdous for his integrity towards his homeland and people and i must suggest Firdous to continue his efforts n ignore those who want to discourage him..well keep it up..

  18. Dear Firdous,
    You are budding philosopher and our comments should not discourage you from expressing what you feel. So many good poets disappeared from the pages of history not because they did not feel but because they could not master the medium in which they are expressing.
    You have a long quotation here in the first para of your last comment. it shows breadth of your study. But brother there is ethics as well. if you quote someone you need to acknowledge the source. the first paragraph is comprised of word said by Theodore Roosevelt. sadly you did not acknowledge it. In literary terms we call it plagiarism. second, you said ‘intense sorrow of my people and my heart lured me to write a poem’. Well if sorrow lures you than i do not know whether beauty repulses you. You have become angry at the point where you wrote ‘for you mistake diggers and i believe that you have not tried to do so that is the reason why you people are becoming aggressive.’ well i do not mind even if you call us gravediggers only if it is in the poetic vein of Hamlet. brother remain cool while composing and commenting. anger only gobbles reason and left man with nothing except compunction. all the best.
    Khameto the pessimist

  19. Dear Firdous Jamal your emotional expressions about Gojal
    is very good. I can say it is voice of the mountains.
    (IN Arabic says Inmal Amalu Binyati) MEANING
    It depends for what purpose you intended for the work.
    The young writers those who are commenting and suggesting about your poem don’t be fill Frustration
    it is there good gestures for you. And it is good sign
    that people are commenting what is good what is wrong.
    we must be happy about there opinions.
    A well highly profiled intellectual DR. Shaid Siddiqui is voicing for Gojal and he has positive comment for your Poem.
    Here I will quote your own words.
    revive, survive, fly, grab, rise, regain, again. Inshallah the glory of Gojal will bounce back.

  20. Dear Firdous
    the way people have expressed the feelings regarding your poem is exceptional, specially the ones who criticize actually giving you the courage and strength. so plz dont get angry, so accept and grab the light which they show you to do things accurately,
    it was not our intention to hurt you but we are basically trying to express the missundrestandings regarding any word or phrase..
    so take positives not the negatives and always be optimist and dont get hurt and be brave to accept if some one criticizing and try to do it correctly rather giving explanations,,
    you have done a good job and hope you will carry on.
    we are waiting for more to see poems like this from you.
    God bless you

  21. I totally agree with Moomik and clearly disagree with Faizi when he declared ‘iam totally agreed with Firdous that here the spell and accurate writting of english language is not so essential .. here the importance is given to the tuff situations faced by our people.’ If it is the case then what is point in writing poetry in English. If emotions are important then it can be better conveyed through the medium of Wakhi language. Dear brothers and sisters when we enter into the realm of literature we get cut off from our linguistic and blood relations. what matters is what how and what has been said. to shower praise just because a writer happens to be from us is nonsense and that is what most of us are doing. Pamir Times offers equal opportunities for writers in local vernaculars as well as Urdu to publish poetry. To reject narration to emotions is like preferring uttering of a mad person in the streets of Delhi to the refine ballads of Ghalib.

  22. criticism for the sack of construction is also good. i really appreciate Firdous also the two other guys who suggested some positive comments, keep it up. that is really good.
    ” learn how to say NO”

    Aziz

  23. Dear fellow …the young poet …..It is always good to be sentimental about a situation but there are better genres to express your feelings than poetry can do. Poetry over the centuries has been disciplined under certain principles, rules, technicalities and a unique relation of sentence with the syntax. You may write a short prose, a dialogical expression like Socrates did or there are other ways of venting out the feelings. Poetry to some of us is a spontaneous flow of ideas but for others a structured way of communicating your ideas (underlined by the ideological motives) and hence the debate continues till today on what should a good poetry constitute without failing to do justice with its fundamental tenets.
    In your first line you say “we will revitalize and survive again…….what are you going to revitalize is not followed in the second line so here is a visible disconnect. Poetry whether ideological, romantic or realistic is appreciated commonly for its aesthetics and musicality not for arbitrary selection of words and then finding a meaning.
    You have all credentials to be a creative writer but it seems you need some more meditation …carry it on and keep improving ….

  24. I thanks all for your valuable suggestions and comments, Inshahallah I will try my best to cope with whatever I lack in writing a perfect poem.
    Finally, I want to qoute the famous saying of Starr Jordan” there is no real excellence in this world which can be separated from right living.”

    With Best Wishes and desire to see Gojal as beautiful and charm {Ameen}

    Firdous Jamal Gojalian

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